16. Shape Of You Doin’ It Whoa

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When debauchery of love hexagon was at its peak, they weren’t the only ones in CJN who were partaking in intimate love affairs with other employees. Laurent was also on the prowl and ready to entangle in flirtation and infatuation of big women to quench his thirst as COO of Plus Size United and the chairman of the board of BWFC . Laurent was especially relentless with flirting for hours with female employees because of his manager title.

The club wasn’t the best place to find big women, so the work was where Laurent went. He would sat at the table eating food, drinking fast, and preying on female employees with low intelligence. Especially every time Plump came over and started up a conversation with him, he would always think about giving it a chance.

Plump was a manager hired by Rewind outside of the company. The rumor had that she was only hired because she looked a lot like Rewind’s close co-worker in the past. Plump was not the brightest out of PSU members. It wasn’t easy for her to keep up with objectives and workloads since she never started from the bottom like the majority of employees in the company. She was usually more focused with eating and talking than working. She would talk to others in the office about where she would go to wax and shave her pussy.


As they spent more time together at work, Plump knew Laurent wanted her love. Her love was handmade for somebody like him. He also fantasized about Plump grabbing on his waist and putting that body on him. He was in love with the shape of her. They pushed and pulled like a magnet do. Although his heart was falling too, he was in love with her body. And one night she was in his office at 11, it smelled like ass fart mixed with Chanel No. 76. Every day Laurent was discovering something brand new, and he would sing,


One week in, they were going out on their first date. They were thrifty, so they went All You Can Eat. She filled up her bag and he filled up a plate. They talked for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour, and how his wife and kids were doing okay. They left and got in a taxi, then kissed in the backseat. Then Laurent told the driver to make the radio play, and he was singing like…


Make it hot

Then Laurent said while eating an apple and sipping on a soda drink,

[Laurent] It’s the first time together and I’m feeling kind of horny. Conventional methods of making love kind of bore me. I wanna knock your block off, get my rocks off. Blow your socks off make sure your G spots soft.

[Plump] I’m going to call you Big Daddy and scream your name. As a matter of fact, I can’t wait for your candy rain.

[Laurent] So what are you saying? I get my swerve on, bring it live. Make it last forever, damn the kitty cat’s tight.

[Plump] Mmm… daddy slow down your flow. Put it on me like G baby nice and slow. I need a dark Mandingo in the sack who ain’t afraid to pull my hair and spank me from the back.

[Laurent] No doubt, I’m the manager that you are talking about.

[Plump] But do you really think that you can work it out?

[Laurent] I guarantee shorty it’s real, baby stick it out. Here comes the chairman of the board of BWFC. I represent PSU and CJN.

As time went on, this new job as a floor manager was wearing down Plump physically and emotionally. It was just too much for her to keep up with the pace no matter what she tried. This Fortune 500 company was nothing like any place she has worked in the past, and she couldn’t take it anymore.

My flow, nice clothes like whoa!

She went into the office one day like whoa! With her tits sagging crazy like whoa! Her ass had mad cellulite all over like whoa! She threw work keys down on the floor like whoa!

“I quit. I’m done,” she shouted and cried in front of Rewind like whoa!

Rewind immediately consoled Plump. And instead of accepting her resignation, he decided to promote her to a senior manager position where she could sit her ass in the office most of the time. When I heard about this incident, I approached Plump and told her that I needed her in the building to boost her morale and enthusiasm at work. Then she told another manager that I made her feel uncomfortable with my comment.

This was another classic snake shit. Because of her promotion by crying and bitching, many were upset and disapproved of her except Laurent. I couldn’t blame them for disliking her based on her demeanor. Plump felt this heat, and she needed to change the focus of attention by creating distraction. Incompetent managers would use this trick a lot when they f**k up a lot.

The news traveled fast in the building about how I made Plump feel uncomfortable. I was disgusted at the fact that she completely twisted my comment as if I was interested in her sexually or platonic. My comment was not vague, and there was no innuendo. I was always the type who would ask anyone up front and blunt including sex or anything else for that matter. I was never a member of Big Women Fetish club in my life, I wasn’t going to join and become an executive VIP member all of sudden. Not to mention, I was still having pain time to time from my hit and run injury. There was no way I could be able to handle her even if somebody put a gun to my head. She had to be at least 150 pounds heavier than me. She could’ve literally sat on me and killed me with no effort.

I was looking at the computer system with disgust in my face at work. Then Gold Digger wanted to talk to me about what happened with Plump. I told her about what happened, and she told me that she didn’t believe Plump at all because nobody would have sex with Plump even if she had a paper bag over her head. I agreed that I couldn’t say on behalf every male species, but I wouldn’t have sex with Plump even if she had a paper bag over her. Then she told me about her husband being Korean and how one night stand led to her marriage. She said she was obsessed with Korean males and the culture in general. Then she went on and on to talk about her favorite K-Pop singer and country singer who she would file a divorce immediately to be with if there was a chance. Her reason? Because they were much more physically attractive and already richer than her current husband.

GD was a member of PSU who had 6 or 7 kids with many family and financial issues. I never understood why she worked there since she didn’t like customers and many of them complain about her. She was a desperate housewife chatter box who had a priority access to all the latest juicy scandals in the building. She would just pretty much tell me about everyone and everything going on in the building when I didn’t even ask. She would put on a front to others like a modest woman such as Mother Teresa, but that was far from the truth.

Eyes Wide Open Raekwon
Eyes Wide Open Ghostface

When Lefty was not on her game with Triangle Offense , Gold Digger was who she spent her most time at work. If all employees in the department was Wu-Tang Clan, GD and Lefty were Ghostface Killah and Raekwon of eating, chatting, and doing f**k all or less than half-ass jobs. You would never know what they would talk to each other about at any given moment from work and relationship issues to giving sloppy blowjobs and sucking hairy balls. She would tell others in public that she wasn’t interested in men with dark complexions, but she would secretly send texts of her naked photos to co-workers with darker complexions for attention and affection that she couldn’t get from home.

eyes wide open hustlenometry

17. F**k You Too Close